Talk about depression : it’s ok to be sad.. sometimes!

I don’t know if it’s really appropriate to publish a link to a blog here, whose gifted and inspiring writer just suffered a heartbreaking tragedy in her family… Those who know who I mean will understand why I felt compelled to post this now. I had this ‘in a drawer’ for a while, obviously I have my own experiences with depression and related illnesses. Please read.


You wake up in the morning and you want to hide under your blanket, wishing it was still night and you did not have to face another day. And.. people !
All you want is to be alone, right there, under your blanket.
What’s going on ?
Maybe you have had recent grief in the family, or you are dealing with a separation, with sickness or with financial problems. Maybe there is just no particular reason.
You just wake up and it’s there. The sadness. The worry. The fear. Depression?

vincent-van-gogh-final-paintings-1Many more people are concerned with depression and it’s related disorders than we usually think. It’s not just for 18th century painters an emos anymore.
Everybody can be depressive, or will suffer from the symptoms of depression, at least temporarily, once or several times in their life.

But wether you call it ‘your black dog‘ (like Churchill) or melancholy, wether you are blackdog (1)already fully diagnosed and labelled with bi-polar disorder or only have a vague idea of the symptoms and you think that this really has never happened to anyone in your family….
Just talk to someone about it! You are NOT alone. And you can get help.

Of course, we all know ‘problems are unsexy’ and sometimes it is hard to talk about something so confusing and overwhelming to people who are close to you and may already suffer along with you.  But you don’t have to! Talk to your doctor, ANY doctor really, because today, even the GP of a remote village will be somehow schooled in how to deal with mental disorders, depression and the like.

In any case, a doctor will be able to refer you to either more specialized care or organizations in your area that can help you to approach your personal black dog.

Because, you know, he’s not really evil. pic_70950(see?)
But, sometimes, sadness can make you angry, and many people concerned by depression push away others who just try to help. This causes a lot of distress in many families, and can be the root of more obvious problems, like alcoholism, drug abuse, domestic violence… The extreme fears and confusion felt by some depression patients is what sometimes drives them to do the really ‘insane’, the ‘crazy’ things. Our society needs to make it easier to prevent these things.

Today, we are also  more aware of how depression can affect children at an early age, and for them, just like the older generation, it can be very hard to grasp what their feelings could mean. depression_large
Children naturally just want to be happy and play, elderly people still fear the association with ‘the crazies’ that once stigmatized any mental disorder. It can be very confusing, scaring and very isolating. But times have changed! In the end we all have a little bit of crazy inside us. No should have to deal with their depression alone anymore. It’s ok to be feeling sad and you would be surprised to know how many people do !

Do you know someone who has that sad look in their eyes, even when everyone else is having a ball ? Has one of your friends or relatives more and more retrieved into their own little shell ? Talk to them about it.
Sometimes it’s hard to start a conversation about it. Don’t be too pushy, but show that you are there. Show them it’s ok.
It’s OK to be not OK.
We can’t all be clowns and entertainers everyday. Unfortunately, this is what our society seems to expect us to be though : Shiny happy people !  (not a feelgood song, i believe). Everywhere, indeed.

For some people, the key may be in a change of attitude. So some days may be a bit ‘overhung’ and black. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a happy, fulfilled live. There will always be sun too.
It needs sun and rain to make a rainbow, doesn’t it ?

The word ‘happiness’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. ~
Carl Gustav Jung (Swiss psychiatrist 1875 – 1961)

Counselling can often help to get through a hard time or deal with light chronic depression. There is no shame to see a “shrink”. Just make sure , that you find the person that is right for you, the one you can talk to, in confidence.
Don’t hesitate to change until you find the One !

For others, medication might just be the better solution.

Oh, I know! No one wants to be reduced to a happy vegetable or get dependant and slide into drug abuse. But medication for mental disorders have changed a lot in the last decades. Doctors are more careful with doses and see to adapt these to the individual patient. We are talking about supervised, reasonable drug use here, not doctor hopping and pill popping!

Depression is an illness, it can chronic or temporary. You would not go and experiment on acute blood pressure problems with over the counter medication either, so leave it to the professionals. Science and doctors know so much more today about the mechanisms of depression, the chemicals of our brain: medication has improved significantly. Of course, talk to them about how they effect you  during the whole period that you take these pills. Side effects can be huge, but should only be temporary. Not all drugs work on all people, and you can’t just stop them abruptly, either, so listen to any advice.
Again, it may be for a lifetime, or only for a few weeks, but you don’t need to deal with it all alone, there, under your blanket.

The first step is always to talk.
TALK to someone if you are feeling down.
TALK to someone who seems to be down.
Do it Today.   You might even save a life.

useful links :
just google depression, really. It’s as easy as that.
Add your country/town for local help.
– help to start a conversation “RUOK?”

17 thoughts on “Talk about depression : it’s ok to be sad.. sometimes!

    1. kaykay

      Thanks Kristin. I had this subject planned for January because many people have problems dealing with the holidays..
      my blogging planning was all jumbled with cat searching this week, but with what happened i simply couldn’t post about pancakes..xx

  1. Naomi

    As someone with a black dog currently laying sleeping at my feet, I applaud posts like this. Depression needs to be talked about, people need to know it’s OK not to be OK and that it’s OK to say as much.

    Thank you for this post. xx

  2. Nerdycomputergirl

    Great post. Hopefully it will not only help to de-stigmatise depression and mental illness and encourage more people to seek help from friends and family but will also encourage those of us that are lucky not to suffer from depression to offer friends an ear.

    1. kaykay

      we can all work on this. my blog is not big but I always think if only ONE person gets help – or offers help to someone who needs it – it’s worth talking about it.. 🙂

    1. kaykay

      thanks. it’s an extremely serious issue, i don’t want to be too pushy or indiscreet about things (including towards my own family). but i feel it’s important to talk about it. so that people TALK.

  3. disydoit

    great words. there is still way too much stigma in our society. Hubby’s black dog returned just before Christmas after being away for a couple of years…i couldn’t even bring myself to tell my family due to their perception. As I say for him being back on medication is OK as long as your OK. x

    1. kaykay

      it’s sad when acceptance is low in the family. especially, as depression seems to be also hereditary and we are lucky to be the first generations where all kind of help is really available. this family’s black dog soo much calmer now too. 🙂

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