A word to live by… not only in 2011.

Note : I wrote this post before we all understood the incredible dimensions the floods in Queensland were about to take. When this became clear, much of my awesomely cool attitude went literally down the drain for a few days. I am now back to full blown ‘Schnauzer’ again. Read on, you’ll understand.

I saw a post at TinaGray{Dot}Me and was inspired to think of a word for this still New Year 2011.
Although any year after a certain decision in my life can be easily called a beautiful year , 2010 was another year heavy with family grief, drama, misfortune, unwanted ‘adventure’ and simply annoying incidents for me. To be brief : 2010 totally sucked!

I do have to mention that it was also the first year of my marriage to MrAwesome and obviously a year on the side of my charming, beautiful and smart child, Tornado. (That both had their moments goes without saying.. ) That’s also why it was a beautiful year after all.

But still. I have had to deal with so much stuff over the last years, so I know that it would be stupid to expect that 2011 will be smooth sailing. My pink glasses are broken for many years. I am not planning to get too personal on my public blog, but some things do not and might never have closure and I know I must be ready to face a storm when it happens.

That’s why I have decided to pick –000wordisguillaume lagace

Yes. I want to make this my word for 2011 because although I have managed to deal with an incredible amount of assholery and dramarama, even some actually dangerous situations in my life, I am still much too prone to anxiety, fears, doubt and even panic attacks – and that doesn’t really help.
So while my life has decidedly changed to the better, inside me, there is still frequently tumult and twisted torture of thoughts and i want this to stop!

Although the pretty picture would make you think I mean this in a kind of meditative, Buddhist kind of way, my serenity is not meant to be only of the peaceful, passive kind. No. In my brain this translates to “kaltschnäuzig” too. For those who have rudimental knowledge of my mother tongue, no, it has little to do with a cool Schnauzer, although this one may have the right attitude:tumblr_l4bsk2tQTM1qalgrpo1_500_large

The word ‘kaltschnäuzig’ is mostly defined and translated with rather negative meanings, as in ‘brutal’ ‘ice cold’ or ‘without consideration for others’. BUT: The origin of the word is obviously the cold snout (Schnauze) of a dog and we all know a dog with a cold nose is a healthy, a strong dog.
A survivor.

I am a survivor but I know I might face more battles still.
What I am striving for is the inner calm (thus: serenity) and assurance about my decisions, without wondering if certain“others” may think what I do is wrong, without fear of failure, without 10.000 second thoughts and worst case scenarios. My life is good now. There are still bumps in the road but I know where I am going. Now I want to learn to feel better while walking, too.

And maybe dark sunglasses are not a stupid idea after all.

a bit randomly&confused linked up to 

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9 thoughts on “A word to live by… not only in 2011.

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention A word to live by… not only in 2011. | Suburp -- Topsy.com

  2. notestoselfplustwo

    hey there, thanks for joining in with such a great post. as you say on my blog a little off question but hey who cares. It is all about you and thanks the point.
    Wishing you much serenity in 2011. hope you see you next week. love x

    Reply
  3. Pingback: I ♥ Me, linky blog thing: week #1

  4. Pingback: Today I’m grateful for… distraction | Suburp

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