A housewife striving for perfection! .. not.

I am thinking that  my days as a SAHM are counted:  I am determined to reintegrate the ‘workforce’, after 2 years of partial and 2 years of total absence.
Now I never saw myself staying at home, but I am glad that I did, seeing so much of my boy growing up was absolute bliss and we had and still have daily fun.
And as much as my break from working was partly voluntary, partly beyond my control (immigration travels..), I am not really going back for the fun, but also for the money. And maybe a bit to get my brain out of the house too.

But if there is one thing I have learnt as a SAHM, it’s that being at home all day doesn’t mean you become the perfect housewife, far from it.
For me, it’s more the opposite : When I was working full time, although I had messy ‘hot spots’, my household as such was rolling ! It wasn’t neat, but it was cosy and clean and I had no problem having people over at any time. (Now, I only have people over who can deal with the dogthing, but that’s another story)

Admittedly, I did not have a toddler or preschooler to add to my mess and distract me with his needs for playing, food, kisses or attention of all kind, but being out of the house made me schedule my week at home so much more and I think seriously, I got lots more done.

Now with MrAwesome, I am blessed with a equally messy husband who luckily has low expectations on my housewifey qualities.
No pressure there. My son is now mostly messy in his own room and that’s ok.
But it comes to a point where I don’t feel happy with the mess myself anymore and I dread the time where we ALL, with my son starting prepschool next week and me hopefully getting some job to start with, will have more time ‘out’ – because then being together will be even more precious, and I’ll want to do even less! Or at least not do boring household stuff..  But then nothing gets done anymore. And the house will stink and sink. Not an option.

With the beginning of the year, some mommy bloggers have signed up to different sites out there, to  tackle their clutter, get more routines going and finally getting stuff done. There’s quite a choice of sites …

The Organised Housewife Have fun and get more done with simplify 101
come with fancy buttons. Then there is http://organizedhome.com/ and of course http://www.flylady.net/ (which personally shocks me with an overloaded website?). And probably lots  more, I’ve seen so many.
(Years ago, I had signed up to a Yahoo group – MyMessyHouse or so.. It brought me a cluttered mailbox and tons of yucky spam. Still had the hot spots tho. )
Now for people with clutter, or messy people like me, not yet in the hoarding spectrum but with borderline behaviour when it comes to paperwork, personal items and clothes etc, having too many choices is more of a problem than a blessing, as decision taking or the lack thereof, is part of the inital problem in our household..and often also in other parts of our life.

I haven’t really looked into all of them but one that I find personally appealing for it’s system as much as its design is


The tag line
” because the art of habit cultivates the habit of art
(..& creativity thrives where clutter doesn’t)”

talks to me,  not because I consider myself openly or secretly an Artist, but because it’s whenever I want to think, create, write that I feel most of the restlessness caused by undone chores or actual mess surrounding me!
So not with the New Year (did we say how badly it has introduced itself so far? well, it really has.), but with a new phase in my life, I have decided that I need to make serious efforts to get our house back on track, because it’s the centre of our family and an organized, decluttered HOME is what every family needs to thrive. I am not seeking perfection, I just want a better feel to it all. I don’t want to throw it all out, but I need some organisation !

So I will cruise those sites and take on board what seems important and right for our home. I might blog about it or not (i have actually started a little project(b)log for my own reference) but it’s time I am getting sh#t done!
Who is using any of the sites and why did you chose it ?
Did anybody really turn their household mess around with the help of the Flylady & Co ? Who is only just starting, like me, to get serious about a system to help discipline themselves and ultimately have more fun at home ?

10 thoughts on “A housewife striving for perfection! .. not.

  1. amandab75

    I really need to do the same, but am too considerate to everyone else’s feelings. Whilst re-arranging Princess’ room I asked her to get rid of toys that were too “babies” for her. The pile has nothing in it. She is too attached to anything I suggested, and I just can’t deal with the crying. Even if I did it secretly when she was out I am sure she would notice and then cry. She gets it from her dad, he’s a hoarder too. Me? I have stuff, but I regularly clear stuff out, and I have the smallest area in the house to store it, so I am efficient in my own space. I just need to learn to be better, and stronger, when it comes to everyone else’s things.

    1. kaykay

      Same here! Although for a single child he plays and shares well with others, I have problems making him give up his oldest toys..I have started sneaking stuff out and hiding it, to get rid of those that he really never touches anymore.
      It sits in a box and after a while, when he really doesn’t ask for it, I will be giving it away. Unfortunately, he has this incredible memory and if the toys were visible in his room before, he wants them back! argh.
      We spoke about his baby toys in context of the floods, but although he understood how sad children would be who had lost everything, he was more concerned then that the same could happen to his toys and I dropped the whole charity approach a little.. to be continued, as I am determinated to do something good to my house AND to people who are really in need!

  2. Tina ~ tina gray dot me

    Flylady scares me. Too many email reminders coming through all the time! Although some of her tips are good ones.

    I’ve decided to follow The Organised Housewife this year to help me get our home uncluttered and organised. And I’ve been a long time reader of the Org Junkie.

    I’ve joked about trying to become the Perfect Housewife but we all know that ain’t gonna happen 😉

    1. kaykay

      I felt not very inspired already by the layout of Flylady.com – where to start!?
      I don’t want to sign up for anything as my mailbox is equally cluttered already (and I do have a couple of them too).
      I just want to do some things before I have much less time and even lower motivation. While I think decluttering can help creativity and overall serenity at home, to seek perfection is often very contra productive, for any project.

  3. Catherine

    I’ve checked out the Flylady before (and I agree with you about the website), but you also get sent so much stuff constantly – it does not help you get off the computer and clean something!
    I’ve got to a state I’m happy with now and it all came from reading about the Reasonably Clean House – http://ourmothersdaughters.blogspot.com/2010/01/reasonably-clean-fairly-neat-and.html – which got me thinking about what’s important to me and that seems to have helped me be happy with how it’s going. Also, her posts on stopping things getting dirty in the first place were v helpful (although I kicked myself for not realising it myself).

    1. kaykay

      I think finding a balance between perfection and a situation that is liveable for you and your family right now and for a while is what we should look for.
      Interesting link too!

  4. Maxabella

    Oh there are some fab links there! Thank you!

    I love your reference to “messy ‘hot spots’” – so me.

    I cope well with the house, even though I work four days a week. Do you know the real secret? While you’re at work, there is no one at home messing up your house!!!

    Enjoy the preps as you get ready to return to work. I stayed a working mother for the ‘stimulation’ and ‘career’. These days I couldn’t give a toss about that but while I was busy being mentally stimulated we were also busy getting used to a certain family lifestyle and now I’m there for the money. Sad but true. x

    1. kaykay

      I thought they were just the most obvious links, I saw most of them on mummy blogs for the beginning of the year (resolutions.. lol).
      You are very right about the fact that no one at home means no mess produced but I think it’s amazing how “some” people who work long hours (not thinking of anyone in special, like, at all) are still able to do a sort of ‘blitz mess’ at home..
      I kind of exchanged the lifestyle for a completely new, so much happier life. I don’t miss my career, but I know I could gradually get something going if I take myself a bit more serious than I did at home. (see household)

  5. Veggie Mama

    I’m actually wondering what kind of housewife I’ll be after the baby. Veggie Dad and I are pretty spick and span, neat and tidy people, but I’m willing to let some things slide. The question is how far?!

    1. kaykay

      it’s good if you are prepared to let things slide a little, but as tidy people you may be also better equipped already to not sink into chaos with the new mess of baby (gear).
      after that comes the phase of toddler mayhem, then preschooler’s need for different ‘activity zones’ etc ..well, hang in there! 😀


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