Nasty little boy.

I struggle to get into the rhythm of blogging again. Not by lack of ‘ideas’ or stuff I really should write about…So there…:

We have a new puppy (she is a-do-ra-ble!) and when we picked her up from the people who had the littler she was unfortunately very sick, they had not done the worming right.

I brought her to the vet, in the morning, and as I sit there with the puppy, from a back room, a girl pops her head out – she is maybe 8 years old, maybe 10 – and she says “That’s Tornado’s mum”.
Yeah, now, the indirect approach, when I was little we were told that’s how you talk about the cattle not about people in the same room with you, but hey, I am all smiles with my new puppy “Hi, you’re not in school today ? Do you know Tornado from after school care ? “ 

“I am sick” the girl just says. Then “Yeah, I know him. He is a nasty little boy.”
And she returns to the backroom.

Awesome. I feel a notion of bad ‘mother rage’ coming on, something like screaming “Yeah, but you are an example of kindness, YOU LITTLE SH&T ??” to the backroom but I am too busy with an 8 week old puppy and her bloody diarrhoea at that point. I mean: seriously? Has SHE Asperger’s too, to be so blunt and rude to the actual MOTHER of the ‘nasty little boy’ ? WTF ?! So very hurtful and wrong and a bit strange.

After seeing the vet, I am back in the waiting room and paying (lots) at the desk. Kind girl’s mum is now at the counter admiring my puppy. Her daughter is invisible.
So I tell mum. I tell her what her daughter said about my son. I tell her that I am very new to having an explanation to my child’s behaviour myself (the pre-diagnosis) and I tell her that it makes me incredibly sad to hear what other children think. Because I already know that.
But I also tell her that I am hoping that, like me, other parents are teaching their kids about people who are different.

To be fair, the mum was pretty sorry about her blunt daughter. She told that they had discussed the (more obvious) autism of another girl who also is in After School Care. She apologized and I told her that it’s all ok and no, I did not really want her to talk about Tornado with her daughter.. But maybe re-explain more in general…?

Sometimes people are different when they seem just like we are.

About a week later, I was waiting outside of Tornado’s class, the girl comes to see me. To apologize. She is “REALLY sorry”. She must have had the talk. I told her I did not want her to get into trouble, and don’t bother talking to Tornado about it (cuz i haven’t, why would i?).

This all made me think about the perception of children with Autism by other children. How to explain it to them. And explain their view to Tornado too. He doesn’t even know yet. But he’s had his share of real and imagined bullying already, and he needs to know why and what. Plus I really would like to do something to help other kids understand what is going on with him.

I have started on a video. I am trying to keep it simple, the talk and the animation. But I might make it a bit more colourful, I have some ideas. It got a few views on Youtube already, but not to much comments yet. I’d really love more.. maybe check it out, if you made it to here.

1-Special people and special brains. Asperger's Syndrome. - YouTube - Google Chrome 4062012 110307 PM.bmp

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2 thoughts on “Nasty little boy.

  1. Kate

    Oh Nikki. I hear you.My 8yo son has a pretty ordinary reputation. Luckily his new school is far more supportive than his last, and there is a strong culture of acceptance in place. But that does not stop people judging his behaviour without bothering to wonder of there may be more to it that him just being naughty.As a Mum it is SO hard. I'm really glad you spoke to the girl's mother.xox

    Reply
  2. nikki

    i think after a bit of a rocky start, we are very lucky at school too. and i am glad i talked the mum, not angry, not too emotional but just calm and cool. i don't say i am free of being judgmental sometimes, and there will always be the 'cool kids' and those who aren't. but i am trying to find coping strategies for my son. and for me.

    Reply

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